A love letter to my Charlie Bear

Dear Charlie

Well, you’re almost 3 months old now. It’s been both the longest and shortest three months of my life. And the most challenging. And also, the best.

Every day I love you more. I love you so much I’m terrified by how much. It’s probably not right to love a little person as much as I love you. But still, I do.

I love it when you’re beaming, pressing your little fat hands together in joy. Your big blue eyes light up and you captivate anyone and everyone who sees you mid-grin. “He’s so cute!” I hear all the time. I have to agree. Maybe I’m biased, but you have the best smile on a baby I have ever seen.

I love how you curl into my neck when you wake from a nap and snuffle a little. Holding your warm little body against me with your face all soft against my shoulder is what happiness is all about.

I love how, when you wake up crying, I can pick you up and calm you down in seconds. I love that you know me as your mama.

I love the bond you have with your dad. So much of your boy time takes place at 6am when I’m asleep but occasionally I’ll see a cool selfie or video showing the two of you having fun together. You adore your dad. As you should. And he is completely, utterly in love with you.

I love checking on you through the baby monitor at night while we’re in the other room watching TV. You can be so utterly still, but then suddenly your dummy will move very fast a few times. We laugh, while also feeling relieved that you’re alive. (Any parents of newborns will get it.)

I love watching you interact and have cuddles with your extended family. Your aunties and uncles and your nan and pop, who are totally gaga over you and fight over who gets to hold you next. You’re lucky. You have so many people who adore you, including four terrific grandparents. One set lives sadly far away – but you’ll meet them one day, hopefully soon.

I shouldn’t, but I love when you stick your bottom lip out before a meltdown. It is seriously so cute. It makes me want to scoop you up and cover you with kisses.

I love that I can scoop you up and cover you with kisses anytime I want. That I can make you squawk with pleasure because I’m tickling your neck. Even when you push me away because you have been love-bombed too much that day.

I love all the little squawks, coos, squeals and growls you make. The hours and hours of baby babble conversations we’ve had are some of the best fun I’ve ever had. You crack me up every day and I can’t wait until you can actually talk.

I love your face when I’m washing your hair over the kitchen sink and rinsing it off with the detachable hose on the tap. Your expression is pure bliss. You are going to freaking love the hairdresser, buddy.

I love blow-drying your hair and cuddling you in a big blanket after your bath and knowing you feel all cosy and relaxed before bed.

I love that little curl of hair over your left ear.

I love taking you out in the pram with your dad at night. We tuck you in and walk and walk in the park and up King Street and sometimes you sleep and sometimes you scream and sometimes you just open your big baby blues so wide and look at all the people and the lights and the dogs and listen to the traffic. It’s so funny watching you take in the world, only to get home and conk out as soon as we pop you in your crib.

I love kissing your pudgy arms and legs. And your feet. Oh lordy, your feet kill me with their cuteness.

I love watching you try to stuff your entire fist in your mouth. Do you know how hilarious you look?

I love that every day with you brings something new and funny and amazing. I can’t believe I’ve got such a cool little boy for a son.

I love you, Boo Bear.

Mama X