The reply was in the affirmative, and mentioned something about Peppa Pig books. Even though it was a text, I’m sure I detected a note of pride. I guess when your one-year-old learns to snort like a pig because you’ve taught them how, then proceeds to do it all the time, that’s something of an achievement.
Distracting as it is listening to my bubba go around snorting all day, it made me wonder what other surprises might be in store for me when Charlie gets older. When I found out I was having a boy, I had romantic notions that his dad would teach him how to play footy and possibly take him to guitar lessons. I’m hoping that’ll still happen. Along with the animal noises and fart jokes.
After all, when it comes to teaching your kid something hilarious, I suspect dads and mums may not always be on the same page. Just sayin’.
Take my friend who took her toddler out in the pram one day, only to have him yell ‘Boobies!’ at every woman they saw. “He even made milking gestures with his little hands,” she remembered. “Naturally, I hadn’t taught him either of those things, but I soon found out who had… thanks very much Daddy!”
Or the mum I know whose four-year-old kept giggling and asking everyone he met where ‘Uranus’ was – after a trip to the Sydney Observatory with, you guessed it, his dad.
Sometimes both parents are to blame, though, and the story that takes the cake for me comes from a writer friend of mine. His then two-year-old, not good with waiting for things, piped up with ‘Oh, for fuck’s sake’ when they were within earshot of an elderly lady blocking a ramp at the supermarket while making a slow descent with her walking stick. (My friend admitted he and his wife really had to watch their language after that one.)
If you think about it, there’s no stopping this slow-moving train-wreck of potential embarrassment, is there? Your kid is going to learn stuff that’ll make you roll your eyes, whether he or she learns it from you, dad, grandparents, the kid next door or some random old dude at the bus stop.
At Charlie’s age though, they’re thankfully quick to move onto the next thing… so I figure I only have a week or so of pig snorting noises to endure. And if I’m honest, it’s kinda adorable anyway.
What’s the funniest / worst / most unexpected thing your partner (or someone else) has taught your kid?
Linking up with #IBOT to Essentially Jess.