UP THE DUFF Week 22: Space maths and pre-baby check lists

UP THE DUFF Week 22: Space maths and pre-baby check lists

UP THE DUFF Week 22 Space maths and writing lists

I am notoriously bad at maths. At high school, I was in the dummy ‘space maths’ class which, ironically, is about as far from complex NASA-inspired mathematics as you can get. Rather, think muppets in space and you pretty much have a picture of how my maths class was regarded across the board generally.

So you can imagine my abject horror when I took my lovely niece out for a coffee the other day and we figured out that the baby is actually due in under FOUR MONTHS, not five months as I was thinking. That’s right. It took a 13-year-old to help me figure out that 20 weeks actually equals 5 months so there is technically 4 (or actually nearly 3) months to go.

Needless to say, I was in a glass case of emotion.

And when you’re in a glass case of emotion, there’s only one thing to do. You must write a list to calm yourself the heck down or breathe into a paper bag (whatever’s closest to hand).

My Things To Do Before The Baby Comes list has 20 things on it so far, none of which I have done and all of which involve other people (tradies, Bupa, the government, the bank, my mum – to name just a few).

It includes things like cooking 2 months’ worth of dinners, starting our scary reno, organising the nursery, buying 100 nappies, buying a post-birth baby corset like the one Jessica Alba swears by, getting the handyman to fix our mould and silicon all the gaps around the house… it’s endless.

The list also includes ridiculously useless directives like, ‘Get used the idea of giving birth’. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Yeah… I might need that paper bag after all.

horseySo, lists. Any essentials you think I should be doing / not doing before the baby comes? Anything you wish you’d put on your pre-baby list? Or do you just want to let me know that you, too, suffered the life-long indignity of being filtered into a space maths class because you were too dumb for normal maths?

Journalist. New mama. Mr Chick's missus. Blogger at The Mama Files, Reality Chick, Letter To My Ex and Rachel's List. Author of sex advice book, Get Lucky. Writer for Good Health, CLEO, Woman's Day, Inside Out, NineMSN and many more. Current fantasy: adding a rooftop hot-tub to the house.


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